50 Ways to Annoy Robert Pattinson

1. Ask him if he thinks Edward Cullen is hot.
2. Accuse him of self-hatred when he says no.
3. Ask him to bite you… again
4. Ask him why he doesn’t like children
5. Cry when he tries to explain
6. Ask him if he thinks Kristen Stewart is hot
7. Ask him if he’s Team Edward or Jacob
8. Ask him if he needs to come out of the closet… just ‘cause
9. Ask him if he thinks vampires and werewolves (or ‘shape-shifters’) are real
10. Set his pillows on fire
11. Tell him he doesn’t sleep when he yells at you
12. Ask him how his ‘hair porn’ video is coming
13. Look offended when he laughs
14. Run up behind him and run your fingers through his awesome Spunk Ransom hair!
15. Give him a shiny silver Volvo for his birthday
16. Cry when he says he can afford a Mercedes.
17. Ask him why they used a hatchback in the Twilight movie, and not a real Volvo
18. Get pissed when he doesn’t know why
19. Ask to see his boxers
20. Smile when he quietly calls for security.
21. Ask him how his super venom-men got Bella pregnant
22. Ask eagerly if they are going to have multiple sex scenes in Breaking Dawn the movie between him and Kristen
23. Call him Edward to his face
24. Ask him if he likes fan-girl screams
25. Ask him how his bath with Harry was!
26. Ask him if the Spanish influenza hurt
27. Remind him of his bath with Harry…AGAIN!
28. Ask him if he got a bruise from falling off the bed when kissing Kristen
29. Ask him how it was kissing Kristen
30. Ask him what color his boxers are
31. Ask him if he wears his Edward makeup just to impress the ladies
32. Ask how many times he had to go to the bathroom after Comic Con.
33. Remind him that he drank his weight in water that day
34. Ask him for a hug
35. Quickly run your fingers through his hair and then run
36. Ask him if he likes being a witch or a vampire better
37. Look surprised when he corrects you on witch to wizard
38. Give him a giant elk for his birthday
39. Look offended when he tries to give it back or release it into the wild
40. Ask him how it feels to be the most wanted man on the face of the earth
41. Before he can answer, ask him if he likes bondage films
42. Ask him if he got a warning from Kristen’s bf, Michael Angarano, before they started filming
43. Ask him if he’d go out with JKR or Stephenie Meyer
44. Tell him he hates his creators when he says no
45. Ask him if he’s ever drank blood
46. Slowly back away when he says no
47. Ask him to marry you
48. Tell him you’re 14
49. Cry when he says no and that he doesn’t like kids
50. Tape a sticker on his car saying he is Jacob’s girlfriend